Common Sense Pool Rules

Sometime back an email was circulating about how Abraham Lincoln was "aware" that corporations should be allowed to run roughshod over the citizens of a country. This could not be further from the truth; as Mr. Lincoln feared that his actions in defense of the Africans kidnapped and brought to our shores would be co-opted by the corporate community (and he was right). So, in response, I present to you:

Common Sense Pool Rules

1. You cannot pee in the pool, no matter how much money you have
2. If you do pee in the pool you will be fined
3. If others become ill, or if their property is ruined because you peed in the pool, you will recompense them.
4. If the pool requires cleaning because you peed in it, you will be sent a bill.
5. If you contracted to clean the pool for a reduced entry fee, then you must clean the pool to retain that discount.
6. If you are trading other services for entry to the pool and you stop providing them, you will be charged the normal entry price.
7. According to our lifeguards oath to protect the pool from all enemies, foreign and domestic; if you bully others while in the pool, you will be prosecuted; regardless of how much you may have contributed to the pool in the past, or what imagined potential you have to contribute in the future.
8. If it is found that our lifeguards are aiding you in bullying others, they too will be prosecuted.

Please Note: Abraham Lincoln was aware of these rules.